Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Today I caught a llama rustler trying to have a go at my flock! Times were when people had dignity and respect for others' property -- now that's all gone. More later, folks.

Monday, May 03, 2004

Hello again, folks. An anecdote, as I promised! Last summer, when I about to milk the llamas (as you do) I discovered, to my horror, that one had nibbled a hole in the fence. It seemed a considerable number of the blighters managed to get their naughty nibblers on the fence, because by the time I got ready for my milking they'd eaten a hole the size of a llama! Immediately I jumped into my Range Rover, driving at breakneck speed through the country lanes near my village (I almost ran over the vicar, but that's another story!). The llamas seemed to have given me the slip. I must have driven around for hours -- years seemed to go by as the fact sunk in: my herd had been destroyed. I was a failure! A broken man! Destroyed, not once but twice! I was trudging back to the van, having scambled through farmer Appomattox's bramble-woods in the hope that I'd find some trace of the llama-herd, when suddenly I caught the sight of an ear through the dense branches! I couldn't believe it; they'd been here all along! I almost kissed them, I was so happy. (Although prudence soon overcame my delight. Llamas have furry tongues, you know.) Anyway, I led them back on the road by Farmer Vicksburg's dwelling, and all was well. I parked Farmer Gettysburg's range rover next to the fence and the next day Farmer Shiloh came with his wire-cutting equipment to mend the fence. Later on, I got the flock electronically tagged, just in case!, but that's another story altogether... However, after that one experience I never quite looked at the beasts in the same way.....

Hello folks, and welcome to my farming journal! I realise many of you city folk won't be very interested in the work of a simple country gent like me, but for the curious, a little about your host. I'm a small llama farmer in Suffolk. My wife runs a home made greeting card delivery service, and that brings in a little extra money. Times are hard here in East Anglia -- farming isn't what it once was, I'm afraid. In 1998, my small poultry business collapsed under pressure from low-paying supermarkets (I won't name names, but it's safe to say it's a household name). After reading a little about llama farming, I decided to diversify. Now the llamas are both used for treks around Thetford Forest (where I run tours) but also in the fledgling llama meat market! I have the best of both worlds. Soon I'll be publishing one of my famous tales of farming, but untill then "that's all folks"!